Wednesday, October 7, 2015

A little something from FB

I got home early after being kicked out by day shift due to me bearing plague, so I hopped on FB to check things briefly and saw this post made to one of the ZERT groups.
Now it's a common thing IIRC to diss Stormtroopers as not being able to hit the broad side of a barn, but this comment IMHO sums the opposite reasoning up nicely:

The Storm Troopers were actually elite. HEAR ME OUT. At the beginning of the New Hope, they overtake the rebel Corvette fairly easily. Vader chokes a bitch, etc. They go to Tatooine and when they kill the Jawas, even pedofile Kenobi makes remarks on the precision. Keep in mind that they are the genetic stock of a badass Tonga warrior dude. So now we see the Death Star scene and Vader is like, "I feel my old molesters presence." This is where we see how an actual Army works. Command fucks over the troops. Vader and command now know that there are VIPs running around so they order the Storm Troopers to keep them alive at all costs yet try to capture them. What the shit is this? So now the Storm Troopers are like, "WTF? This blows dude." And they do what like an E4 would do, they lazily wander around, oh shit, there's the VIP, randomly shoot everywhere and pray that SGLI is paid up. That's why when Han turned around and charged back by himself, they were like, "FUCK! If this shmoe gets hurt, Vader will smoke me into a piss puddle and CID will be on my ass! SHIT! RUN! RUN! RUN!"
Even Leah was like, "That was too easy!" Fast forward to Hoth, the Storm Troopers take on the rebel base with armored support despite the overwhelming odds of going up against enemy close air support. Boom, "GOT EM!" Now the third time we see a so called "blunder" was on Endor. Yes, teddy bears did take them out but to be fair, the best and brightest of the rebel scum did get captured by the Ewoks and were about to be exterminated if it wasn't for the most homosexual droid in the galaxy telling them to stop. The Storm Troopers were just not expecting such unconventional warfare plus they were like Cav so its not like they were REAL Storm Troopers to begin with.
And that my friend is why Storm Troopers should not get made fun of when they were really getting fucked over by command and were following orders... hail the emperor.


Seems to make sense to me ;-)

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